Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams has admitted that he still struggles with his love for marijuana and was tempted to smoke during the team’s bye weekend, reports the Miami Herald.
The athlete said that when players were given Friday off, “automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began … says, ‘I’m free, what can I do?'”
“So there was definitely an urge,” he said in Tuesday’s Miami Herald. “But I just thought about what I have to lose, and it was easy. The urge didn’t last very long.”
Williams has been in the league’s substance-abuse program since 2002 and has tested positive for marijuana. If he were to get caught with the herb in his system again, he would likely be out of the NFL for good because he has already violated the league drug policy four times.
“There’s no space, no wiggle room for me,” Williams said, adding that he fought the urge to smoke over the weekend by meditating instead, which gives him the same “feeling of being free.”
“A lot of times when people have some kind of addiction, what happens is they make a mistake and trip up and afterward say, ‘I don’t know what I was thinking,'” he said. “If you always try to be aware of what is going on in your mind, you won’t ever get to that point where it’s too late.”
Williams said he will not smoke marijuana again while he’s in the NFL, but he’s uncertain whether he’ll abstain when his career ends.
“I’d be lying if I said I’m never going to do it again after I’m done,” he said. “I don’t know. I don’t spend much time thinking about it.”