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5 Signs That You’ve Been Single For Too Long November 7, 2008

Filed under: Romance — Ryann Hayman @ 12:12 pm


You can always tell when a wild animal has been held in captivity for too long. They possess this glazed over look in their eyes—it’s unmistakable. The same can be said for those who have been single for an unbearably long period of time. Now I’m not talking about a couple of months either. Let’s just say this person hasn’t had a real date since Bobby Brown could actually afford his child support payments.

What’s most unfortunate in many of these cases is the person is unaware that they’ve even reached this point in their life. So to serve as an official wake up call, I’ve decided to share 5 Signs That You Have Been Single For Too Long.

#1- You’ve Become Out Of Touch

Much like Spanish, French, or even a Dikembe Mutombo press conference, dating feels like a foreign language to you. You try your best to understand and adapt to it, but when you try it just feels awkward, which makes you decide against it. Whoever told you that dating was like riding a bicycle was obviously a liar. At least that’s what you think.

#2- Desperation Sets In
This occurs when your dating standards drop to an embarrassingly low level. There once was a time when you held out for a Halle Berry or Denzel Washington-type mate. Now you’re content to settle for Bookman from “Good Times.” Not to say there’s anything wrong with dating a rotund janitor, but the fact still remains that you are now willing to settle for anyone or anything just to avoid being alone.

#3- You Start Overreacting 
When desperation sets in, it’s very easy to overreact. Suddenly, you find yourself reading too deeply into the actions of others in hopes that they may in fact be interested in you. This can range from your restaurant server smiling when she asks if you’d like cheese on your Whopper, to your coworker holding the door for you while saying “have a nice day.” While these may only be random acts of kindness, you trick yourself into believing that a love connection is right around the corner.

#4- You’ve Become Bitter
Suddenly your views on dating are like listening to Lauryn Hill’s MTV Unplugged album, as both are filled with endless amounts of bitterness. Perhaps it’s the past hurt you’ve endured that’s hardened you. Whatever the case, it’s become apparent to all that you despise the idea of love. You even try to talk others out of being happy, which makes you the official poster child for the phrase “misery loves company.”

#5- You’ve Become Too Picky

The greatest indicator that you’ve been single for too long is the exact opposite of being desperate. Instead of settling for anyone, you actually find fault in everyone. In doing so, you sabotage any legitimate shot at finding happiness. Remember that one guy who was really nice, but you didn’t like him because his right ear lobe hung a bit lower than the left? Or what about the woman you shunned because you said she had unusually long elbows? The bottom line is that everyone has faults, but you can’t use them as an excuse to stop trying altogether.

The Fly Conclusion- Throughout my travels, I’ve come across some amazingly beautiful people who are single, and have been for quite some time. Many of them have deliberately chosen this path in order to focus on their own journey of self-discovery. This article was not directed towards them.

However, there are many others who lack a clear understanding of exactly why they’re alone…which kind of reminds me of how Sisqo must have felt at his album release party. But unlike Sisqo’s singing career, all is not lost for you. By addressing the signs and maintaining a positive outlook, your dating drought will eventually end. I’m sure of it.


2 Responses to “5 Signs That You’ve Been Single For Too Long”

  1. dagnabit27851 Says:

    Hey Ryann,

    I am sad to say that I have never been in a relationship before. I’ve only dated two guys and then they both just fizzled out. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have always believed there is someone out there for everyone (perfect soulmates if you will), but I’m afraid that I have been forced to change myself to meet people. I hate the thought of that, but it seems like the only way. Of course this falls into that desperate category I’m sure, but what do you think I should do?

  2. Ryann Hayman Says:

    I don’t think you should change for anyone just yourself and if the guy doesn’t like you for who you are then he’s not worth your time. I suggest that you date around for a while get the feel of relationships you just might find a guy that’s into you for who you are and vise versa

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