On the record magazine

Urban News, Hip Hop, R&B, Poetry, Love Advice

Sometimes Rejection Is A Good Thing November 12, 2008

Filed under: Romance — Ryann Hayman @ 1:06 pm


I was just two months into my journey as the Fly Guy, and the buzz surrounding my love advice brand was already building. As a result of my increased visibility around the city, a local radio station invited me down to do a guest spot as a love expert. While relaxing in the staff lounge, a young lady walked in, and was easily one of the most beautiful women that I had ever seen in my life.

“Hey, how are you,” I politely asked.

“I’m good,” she responded in a less than inviting tone.

“Would you happen to know how things work around here,” I inquired. “I was asked to do a guest spot on the show this afternoon, but I haven’t been given much direction.”

This piqued her interest.

“Oh, you’re going to be on the air today,” she replied, now visibly invested in the conversation. “So what is it that you do?”

“Oh, they invited me to be today’s love expert,” I responded. “I write a love advice column called The Fly Guy Chronicles. It’s been making the rounds in national newspapers and magazines. You may have seen it.”

Love expert? National newspapers and magazines? You could literally see the wheels spinning in her head. Now my usual policy with such an obvious opportunist is to simply walk away. But I was admittedly intrigued, so I decided to capitalize on the moment.

“Hey, why don’t we catch up for dinner,” I offered. “I’ve spent all this time talking about me, and I’d love the opportunity to find out more about you.”

She blushed. As she began to answer, the door flung open, and her girlfriend rushed in to share some good news with her. “Tonya, guess what,” she frantically blurted out. “________’s road manager just called me, and he wants you to come to the studio tonight!!!” (Sorry, I had to block his name out.)

“I knew he was feeling me,” 
she boasted. “Well, shit, let’s go now. I’m not doing anything around here. See you later Fly Guy.”

And off she went. At first I was a bit dejected that I was blown off. I mean sure, I’m no superstar recording artist, but I do think that I possess the qualities that most women find appealing. It actually messed with my head for a while.

It wasn’t until a few week’s later that my rejection was placed in its proper perspective. It happened when my business manager, who was also there at the station, called with a bit of shocking news.

“Yo Fly Guy,” he barked into the phone. “You remember that chick who shot you down at the radio station a few weeks back? Well I know I was clowning you at the time, but I just found out that she is HIV positive. That’s crazy right? I got this email from Dre, and the whole industry has been put on alert to stay away from her. Apparently she’s been out there infecting people. They even posted her picture in the email. You really dodged a bullet on that one.”

He was right. As I hung up the phone, I was reminded of a life lesson taught to me long ago: Sometimes rejection is God’s protection.

Boy, is it ever.

Fly Question: Has there ever been a time when rejection turned out to be a blessing in disguise? (relationship related instances only please)


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