On the record magazine

Urban News, Hip Hop, R&B, Poetry, Love Advice

5 Keys To Maintaining A Long Distance Relationship November 17, 2008

Filed under: Romance — Ryann Hayman @ 11:33 am


I can still remember her name…Nikki Miller. In my eyes, she was the definition of a real woman. She was my soulmate; my everything. Sadly circumstance tore us apart, as a better opportunity forced me to move away. At that point in my life, I had no idea how to maturely handle a long-distance relationship. So we broke up. Of course, I was only 7 at the time, but my mother could have at least let me call her from time to time right?

Listen; there are times when our career or our general pursuit of happiness forces us to change locations. If you’re involved with someone when this happens, then you’ll likely need a few Fly Guy tools to ensure your relationship’s survival. That’s why I’ve decided to equip you with 5 Essential Keys to Maintaining a Successful Long-Distance Relationship. If you apply these to your situation, you’ll never have to lose out on the Nikki Miller of your life.

#1: Make contact every day- This doesn’t necessarily have to be a 4-hour phone call. But still take the time to at least send an email or text message letting them know how important they are. Failing to constantly check in with your mate will leave them feeling abandoned, which undermines the whole point of even trying the relationship in the first place.

#2: Plan to see each other regularly- There’s a certain psychology behind having something to look forward to. So plan regular trips to see each other during your time apart. Those special moments will energize the relationship, giving you more resolve than the time I had to convince my grandmother that Michael and Letoya Jackson were two different people.

#3: Make the relationship a priority- I know you’ve been waiting for months to audition for the stageplay version of “Who’s the Boss” at your community theater — and I wish you luck on that. But you can’t place trivial matters before your relationship. When you’re hundreds or even thousands of mile apart, it becomes increasingly important for you to make your significant other feel as if they’re still a major part of your life. So don’t cancel a planned phone call or scheduled visit for things that you could honestly do without.

#4: Trust your partner- 
Nothing spells failure faster than going into a long-distance relationship with no sense of trust. If you can’t trust your mate’s ability to remain faithful while in another city, then why bother? You know, this whole notion reminds me of the time I refused to let Condoleezza Rice borrow my comb. I knew up front that I couldn’t trust her to do the right thing, so I told her no. And if you can’t commit to trusting them (or yourself) then don’t waste your time or theirs.

#5: Make plans for the future- There’s nothing worse than engaging in a long-distance relationship with no true game plan established for when you’ll actually be together again. That’s like working a job without your boss giving you a clear cut answer on when you’ll get paid. (”You’ll get your check one of these days buddy…just hang on in there.”) If it’s a year, then say it. If it’s going to be two years apart, then make that known. That way both sides will know what they’re committing to up front.

The Fly Guy Moral: 
As you’ve sifted through the information I’ve provided today, understand that there’s no clear cut method to approaching such an enormous commitment. No matter how the two of you plan to approach it, just know that it’s going to take a lot of work, as well as a lot of patience and flexibility. But if you really want to keep the relationship alive, then you’ll figure out a way to make it work. Good luck.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s